the perfect protest
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For many years I believed that being my best self meant trying to be perfect. After studying shame, authenticity, and courage for ten years, I realized that I was wrong. Yes, it took that long. I'm hardheaded and I was very invested in being right. Here's what I learned:
Being our best selves is about cultivating the courage to be vulnerable, authentic, and imperfect. Perfectionism, on the other hand, is the belief that if we live perfect, look perfect, and act perfect, we can minimize or avoid the pain of blame, judgment, and shame. It's that simple. Perfection is not about healthy striving or being our best, it's how we protect ourselves.
In the new book, I write, "Perfectionism is a twenty-ton shield that we lug around thinking it will protect us when, in fact, it’s the thing that’s really preventing us from taking flight."
Putting down the perfection shield is scary. Finding the courage, compassion and connection to move from What will people think? to I am enough! is not easy. But however afraid we are of change, the question that we must ultimately answer is this:
What’s the greater risk? Letting go of what people think or letting go of how I feel, what I believe, and who I am?
I've always talked about Wholeheartedness as a movement, and this week I want to invite you to join me in a weeklong Perfect Protest. Here's how:
- If you blog, post your own Perfect Protest picture and thoughts! Use the Mister Linky below so we can check it out!
- Change your Facebook or twitter profile picture/avatar for the week and telll people why. Let us know in the comments.
- Use the comment section as your protest sign.
Don't worry about having an original sign or the perfect picture. Just write the sign you need to write.
My family was in town this weekend for my niece's birthday. In addition to helping me wrap books for the Houston book launch, they got into the protest spirit!
my sisters, Barrett + Ashley
my mom and stepdad
my dad and stepmom
me + steve
charlie, ellen + my niece amaya
A protest might sound a little dramatic, but in this world, choosing worthiness is an absolute act of resistance! My new battle cry: Authentic and messy is the new perfect!
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